On hover-boards and jet-packs

So with the almost categorical discovery of the Higgs boson recently I saw a lot of non-scientists posting online to say "Good job guys, but where's my hover-board?" or words to that effect. As a scientist who was never promised a jet-pack I found it quite saddening. Here was a fantastic discovery, enabling the human race to learn something about the creation of life, the universe and everything and people were asking for more. It felt like watching a Christmas present being unwrapped, sharing in the delight right up to the moment the recipient asks for batteries.

Come the revolution you may design your own hover-boards
Scientists are people too, you know. We are you. We didn't hear some calling to stand up and reclaim the white coat for pride and honour. We enjoyed learning new things. It is a continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Ahem.

If you wanted hover boards then there was no reason you couldn't have studied engineering or physics and sketched out a viable schematic for yourselves. The scientists we had were busy designing computers and smart phones or building satellites so you can use those items to communicate with people across the globe. They're making sure you live longer or improving treatments for when you're sick. They're designing materials so that your life is improved dramatically from someone living one hundred years ago.

I used to be a scientist like you, then I took an jet-pack in the knee
Not everyone wants to be a scientist. And that's cool. I'm struggling to find a job with these qualifications anyway so more of us would only make life tougher. There are some people who feel they're incapable of being a scientist or they just don't get the maths. As the only member of my family who can't draw I can sympathise. Giving it a go can't hurt though. I wasn't born good at science. I studied. A lot of the people I studied with say that the third year of my degree course was the toughest thing they'd ever done. Scrawled on one of the desks was a statistic about the suicide rate for the course year and we were prepared to believe it.

A university education wouldn't even be required for a jet-pack. We don't even have courses in jet pack design! All you'd need is an imagination, some knowledge of fuels and ergonomics and an eye for picking up bargain materials. Collaborate! Kickstart! You can do it. We're all counting on you. 

Now let me go back to trying to understand the standard model.